Have you ever had a Moment of Truth? You know, a moment when you realize your drug or alcohol use has gotten out of control. Maybe you totally freaked out. Or maybe you realized that you've become too relaxed about your drug use. Or perhaps you got yourself into a dangerous situation. Whatever it was, you can share your moment here.
Here's a list of Moments of Truth. They're visitor-submitted and posted automatically. Have you had one? Add it here.
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waiting and fading
Posted 7/18/2010 8:02:00 PM |
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| By the time I was in 7th grade I tried pot for the first time and got drunk. By the time I was in 8th grade and 13 years old i met my first real boyfriend. When this ended i was heartbroken and lost. That summer i became addicted to smoking pot every day multiple times. All of my money went to buying sacks. I started to drink to get ridiculously drunk. it was easy all during juinor high because my dad would buy us cigarettes and alcohol. In the beginning of freshman year i was clean. As i turned 14 Soon after i was introduced to a new crazy life. I was in the habit of living this lifestyle full of substance and being brave. It comforted me. This was the year of drunken girl hood. I experimented with ecstacy, shrooms, adderal, xanax. I came to my moment of truth when i had taken E two days in a row, just to come down into a horrible depression. I had never felt such anguish and desperation inside my mind. My only cure was drugs. I started losing consciousness and ended up in the hospital once. I made my whole family miserable. i lost touch with what is most important to me and it brought me to the worst mistake of my life when i was taken advantage of at a party. I felt it was a turning point, only to keep using and abusing. Now im suffering the consequences of regret, and being lost inside my self. I dont know where to turn to. I like to think these are just learning experiences but this feeling of being helpless eats away at my heart. I want to turn my life around and be worthy of true love and true friendship. |
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| 2326 |
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My friends let me die.
Posted 7/17/2010 5:02:00 PM |
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| I'm 18 just graduated high school. I've already gone through pill addiction twice, pretty heavy drinker, smoke bud, i've done E, acid, coke...i've done a lot. Never really at the same time. Pills were the only thing i really thought i had trouble with so when i stopped i figured i'd smoke and drink and do other sh*t more...well that ended up with me almost dying. A friend of mine's parents went out of town for a week, so we decided to have a week long party. First two nights were good. On the second night i decided to drop some baums(E) with some friends..went though the night without eating or sleeping. The next day didnt eat or sleep at all so that night when we bought a few bottles of liquor i guess the smart idea would've been to not drink, BUT i'm not the smartest person. So inevitably i drank and ended up drinking wayyy too much. I woke up like it looks in the movies with a big bright light over me, nurses in my face, oxygen mask on, 2 iv lines..it was bad. I come to find it is 7am and it's the first time i woke up from being unconscious in awhile. I ended up with a black eye and after they released me about an hour later i went home rested up slept through that night woke up the next day in the worst pain imaginable. Rushed to the ER to find that from the alcohol poisoning my appendix was almost ruptured and my pancreas was messed up. So i had to stay there for 2 more days so they could do surgery and stuff. Wanna know what i was told? After drinking in one room with some of my closer friends 3 of us walked out continued to drink, a little while later i came back into the room, a few of the same friends were still in there. Well, i fall face first into a desk and pass-out about 10 minutes later..everyone just lets me "sleep". They let me "sleep" for 3 hours until my cousin and a REAL friend realized that i wasn't waking up. They sat me up and i started to throw up all over myself until my throw up turned into pure brandy. The people that I thought cared about me left me there to die. They had to revive me in the hospital also... I'm not here to preach to you to not do drugs and drink. I'm here to tell you my story and hopefully make you think about holding back on going overboard. Whether it be drinking or drugs. Believe me you do NOT want to go through that. (and when i mean friends these weren't a bunch of random people i met at the party it's people i've hung out with since i've been in high school) and believe me the pain of realizing that your "friend's" could careless about you hurts as much as the physical pain i went through. |
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| 2325 |
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Spiraling down
Posted 7/13/2010 8:37:00 PM |
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| When I was 12 and 13 I used to cut myself and was anorexic for a little. When I was 14 I started drinking and smoking cigarettes and weed. And I had sex for the first time right before I turned 15. When I was 15 I got all new friends, based on my drug use. I only left my house to get high. I quit guitar, cheer, dance, gymnastics, and piano, which I have been doing for most of my life. Drugs were my new life, it was all I cared about. I wasn't happy unless I was out partying or high. I did cocaine, ecstacy, and heroin. Cocaine took over my life for a little, when I started getting it for free. I'd do it in school all the time, in the bathroom, in the auditorium during assemblies. I don't remember the last day of school, due to doing way too much heroin the day before. I always had to be high. I'm 15. This is still my life and this is probably how I will be the rest of my life. Drugs is my first priority. But it makes me isolate myself sometimes. All my friends are worried about me, and I don't have any close friends that don't do drugs. I got all my friends into drugs. Maybe it was because I didn't want to face my problem alone. I'm the bad example, the one pressuring everyone. No one ever pressured me. I looked for all these drugs on my own. I get in trouble with my parents a lot, they are very strict but very much in denial about EVERYTHING about me. All I want is to be happy. I'm not happy unless I'm high. How can I be happy again without drugs? I dont think there's a way... |
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| 2324 |
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Getting better
Posted 7/6/2010 12:14:00 AM |
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| The first time, ive ever smoked weed was when I was 13, i made a new friend she seemed pretty chill, She did weed, and other stuff, Xanax, speed and so forth, i went over to her house one day, at night we snuck out with her younger brother and we walked down to the lake, and smoked weed out of a pop can, not the smartest idea. I told my brother and sister, and i thought they would tell me not to do it, instead brought me into their rooms, and smoked up, this continued for a while. There was this guy i loved, while i was doing all of this, and i told him, at first he was fine with it. He doesnt drink EVER, or smoke, never has. I started doing it more, not seeing anything wrong with it, it didnt mess up my life, when he started saying that he'll leave me, if i keep it up. i havent done it in a while, until i went to a show, and had one toke, barely got anything, but i feel guilty, i just can't tell him. I honestly dont want to do it again, if it means losing him, if he wasnt there, to tell me that he would leave me, i still probably would be smoking it everyday, And i thank you, |
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| 2323 |
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i'm 14 and addicted to clear
Posted 7/3/2010 6:23:00 PM |
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| smoking pot was a regular daily thing, and i told myself i wouldn't do it a lot. I started doing it 4 to 5 times every single day, whether it was alone or with a couple friends. I'd steal money, and lie to my parents to get money to buy it. a friend was convincing me about other drugs and telling me meth wasnt as bad as everyone said it was, so i decided to try it..spent 70 dollers in one night.
kept doing it almost every week. I had a journal and wrote what i was doing in it everyday. being all messed up everyday, on weed, pills, meth, everything...about all my sex stories, and doing things with men. mom found it and called the cops. i'm now on lockdown and in the process of getting help. two boys are going to jail because they were older than 18..and my mom told the police.
i'm 14 years old..just going into highschool and i already have a horrible reputation. |
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| 2321 |
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I was one of those who said they would never do drugs...
Posted 6/7/2010 2:58:00 PM |
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| I just wanted to say that there are many on here who have mentioned that they are not addicts and have everything under control. But if you are having to take drugs to come down off other drugs or taking drugs to stay awake after staying up all night because you were high then you most definately have a problem.
I was one of those who said they would never do drugs and made it all the way through high school without doing so. It wasnt until I met an older guy when I was 20 he was 27 that I was introduced to the drug world. I didnt try my first drug until I was 21. I started with weed and ended up smoking entirely too much and spent my 21st birthday at the ER because of a panic attack. You would think this would have scarred me enough not to take any other drug well it didnt even come close. Next up on the list was ecstasy and I fell in love with my first drug. Then I tried coke, meth, pills (loratabs, vicodin, xanaz) and then oxy.
For me my drugs of choice were ecstasy and coke but at the height of my addiction I would take anything that was laid in front of me. Although I never took acid or heroin because quite honestly they scared the heck out of me and still do. I am not sure when the point was in which I crossed over from a drug user to a drug addict. Maybe it was the point when I was taking 10 ecstasy pills just to get high. I was having to take xanax or smoke weed to come down off the ecstasy or coke that I was on and having to take diet pills just so I could make it through work the next day. There wasnt a piont in time that I wasnt high on something. By all odds I should not be here today. The drugs should have taken my life. I am a fairly small female and many people have asked me today how I took that many pills and didnt od. At the end of my addicition I weighed around 80 lbs and looked like death. Everything came to a screaching hault in December of 2006 when I was 24. God had to let me loose everything that I loved so that He could get my attention. My boyfriend the man I loved more than anything broke up with me in order to save my life from the drugs that had taken over our relationship.
I am very blessed to have had several people that I didnt even know praying for me and now by the grace of God I am clean today. I am not saying that it is an easy road and I am not saying that there arent times even today that I dont think about getting high but I can say that life with Jesus Christ is better than any drug I have ever taken. |
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| 2316 |
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When I found out how bad my addiction had gotten...
Posted 5/26/2010 2:51:00 AM |
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| Well I'm starting this one off by saying that recently my mother and older sister banned me from their home. Keep this in mind that she's 7 months pregnant and I have a four year old nephew. Therefore, I guess I messed up bad. I went to their house for a week. Went out drinking everyday, morning, and evening of that week. It was spring break. The last night though, I went to a party with some friends and they called me and said If I don't go home by 1am, I can't ever go back over there. I came home at around 1:30. I also had alcohal poisoning that night. So they take me home @ 5am. When my mom dropped me off she said and I quote "You're ill, get some help, Justin" I haven't been over there since. That morning broke my heart. |
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| 2315 |
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smoking: deadend
Posted 5/24/2010 2:09:00 PM |
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| one time i was hanging with my friends and we decided to take a walk around town and my one friend confessed she's smoked since third grade and she never told her mom because she just stole them from her mom. well i said that i've been wanting to try one because i was curious and i just gave up on life so we went back to her house (and my other two friends were just trailing behind) and she went to her moms room and stole two cigarettes and hid them till we were in an alley and she lit one up and smoked then she gave it to me and i tried it and i coughed and said i didnt like it then she took it back and smoked it again and i asked if i could try it again she said 'sure' so i took it and started coughing again so i stopped. i came home and my mom asked 'sami's parents smoke right?' i said 'yes' then she said 'you werent smoking were you?' so i said 'noooo' no way was i gonna get in trouble so i thought i was done but a week later i went over to my besties house and she stole two cigarettes from her sister the night before so we went into the woods and we each smoked one whole one i didnt cough once and it tasted good that time and when i finished i asked if we could have another one she said 'no if we have another one we'll be hooked and if you want another one it means your addicted' i was shocked i didnt relize i could be addicted by just having one because the following weeks the only thing i thought was 'cigarettes' now that i stopped i feel less agitated and i realized my other friend stopped smoking too and my mom never found out. im only 12 and im pretty upset about being so stupid about even trying it. i hope people start realizing drugs and smoking are really bad.
thank you for reading my story
alex<3 |
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| 2314 |
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Facing My Nightmare
Posted 5/23/2010 4:56:00 PM |
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| So I just finished reading a couple different books full of drugs("Go Ask Alice", "Tweak", etc... all great books btw). Full of detailed visuals, experiences beyond my nightmares, things I always told myself I'd never become a part of... but I still have this aching hole inside me. This black hole begging to be filled with some sort of substance (though not necessarily drugs or alcohol), but something to make me feel full again. I've heard of my friends' experiences and of the dangers of drugs and yada yada, and I always tell myself that will never be me. I'm strongly against drug and alcohol use, and would classify myself as something most would call "straight edge". Which is cool with me. I'm proud to stand up for what I believe in, but sometimes it hits me out of nowhere. This curiousity and hunger to really know and understand the "high" these people get. I know I'll never truly know since I will never experience it myself... or will I? Sometimes my faith and hope is lost when my severe depression sets in and I just seek acceptance. Just a friend to listen and be there for me. So I've gone through anorexia because of my insecurities and sought relationships with people online whom I really didn't know, yet somehow trusted them to take care of me one day when I planned to run away to live with them... Sometimes guys 6-8 years older than me... I know I'm not the only one that has this gaping loneliness sometimes. So how does everyone else cope with it all?
Sincerely,
Seeking Happiness |
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| 2313 |
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Never Smoke
Posted 5/20/2010 6:48:00 PM |
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| My parents smoke. I don't and I can't have it yet. My brother didn't try smoking yet, he's 14. I am 10. My school doesn't want any one or any THING to smoke. I saw teenagers smoke in my backyard. I don't want them to smoke! They will die!!!! My aunt Karen is stopping her drugs! |
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